Professional-ish

I live in a funny fairy-tale where people care about what they’re doing so the job is done just about right. Decent foundations and clear work morals are something we shouldn’t discuss – it’s already there. Wait… what?

Dear Ms.Nurse, share your knowledge with grace when I’m asking about who is the last person in the line. I’m there to get help not to make your day harder.

HR Department. Three different teams and nobody has read my resume. It must be hard reckoning to improvise questions for a job vacancy. How Rude.

Hey, Mr.Shipping! How about being a bit nicer? Yes, the driver is late and no, he will not make it on time. There is a giant traffic jam and there is nothing you can do about that.

Lady Secretary from the firm X. When I’m calling you with a very specific question it means I couldn’t find an answer anywhere else. Oh, boi. It must have hurt to use a brain.

Financial dude. Please don’t make the fool out of me. We don’t have to know everything. You’re here to advise me not to mock me.

Puh-lease.

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Surprise

It isn’t easy to surprise me. Recently a few stuff has happened that blew my mind. Yes, I was surprised. It’s actually quite confusing. These are some of them:

1. Whistling as a method to calm somebody down.

No joke here. It happened during some silly fight. Suddenly things got out of control. A perfect way to solve it? Whistling! Yes, we are dogs. We know exactly what to do when you’ll whistle. No harmony. Whistle your issues away, that’s cool.

2. Kissing mommy on the mouth.

Grown-ass men kissing his mother on the mouth. Oh, boi. I could understand that sometimes a relationship between a son and the mother is close and special, but let’s be real – it’s disgusting. You’re kissing your mom and a few hours later your wife or your girlfriend? Poor woman.

3. Having a direct tattoo on the throat.

You have every right to express yourself the way you want, I respect that. Please, consider your tattoo not to be angry grizzly on your throat. Especially when your face is cute! Sorry, I would never take it seriously. That grizzly would have sucked my attention every time.

4. Being asked a weird question on the street.

Typical Tuesday. I’m coming back home from work and some teenage girl is asking me if I would want an ice cream. I should mention: it’s obviously cold. The girl wasn’t bothered by it, wearing a top that revealed her tummy. Nope, I didn’t take it.

5. Drinking beer at work.

Sorry but wtf?! Ok, you’re the boss, I get it. You’re also an example, moron. If you’re drinking the beer, can I as well? Can everybody? I don’t see any logic here. Unless it’s just the show-off, like “I can do whatever I want, but you must follow the rules”. It’s highly disrespectful not to mention unprofessional.

Mäh.

Social media crap

We all have it and we all use it (or most of us at least). The right issue is how! How are we using it? Well, we are communicating through it and maybe picture uploading from time to time but in many cases that’s just not bloody enough. What am I talking about? Oh, pure madness.

There is usually at least one friend who is uploading pictures almost every day. Common, let us miss you a bit! We don’t have to know at what stage is your cleaning looking by your selfie reflection in your bathroom or bedroom.

Bunch of them are uploading anything for show-offs like the vacation, the quick trip to the next town, Friday night adventures and much similar irrelevant info. No, you are not cooler or funnier than others. You’re just lucky and tomorrow it can all change.

Have I mentioned babies? Sure, mostly they’re cute and blah but do I have to know what they’re wearing and how they’re pooping? Nah. I don’t know when babies became a tool to show off but it’s quite…childish.

Wedding dramas. This is like never ending story – lasts for weeks. Blah blah I’m happy for you, now change your last name everywhere and shut up. You’re not different than any other lady. It was just one night and you’ve lost a lot of money. Congratulations.

They say: “nobody is forcing you to use it”. Please, have a look around. Almost everything is plugged to some social platform. Almost every company, every business is on social media. How am I suppose to work with it, without getting annoyed? They say: “just click unfollow”. Done that. It doesn’t stop new persons to evolve and become this annoying social monster though.

How about NO.

Spring beauty

Don’t we all agree that spring is the most charming time of the year? Everything is changing outside, like literally. The birds don’t stop singing and the flowers don’t stop blooming. Circle of life. This specific type of fresh air will give you some sense of hope, motivation and energy to do more and be more. Everything seems to be more bearable. Are you one those people who feel this way? Good for you.

There is nothing more annoying than a sudden weather movement from 2°C and winter clothes to 18°C and bam. You’re sweating like a little piggy because you have no clue how to properly choose clothes. “It’s impossible to be this hot outside”. Nope. It actually is hot outside. And yesterday wasn’t.

Have I mentioned mood switching? You are feeling this empowering and inspirational batch of air few times a day. Almost everything becomes more colorful and so does your reality and dreams. For a moment you are positive thinking guru. Relatable? Of course. Too bad you can’t maintain it for the whole year. Your mind needs to bloom whatever your yard is or isn’t.

It’s also such a delightful time for allergic folks. The struggle is real and painful. You are flying on tissues, you haven’t slept for days and everything gets only more and more intense. It’s questionable what is really driving you forward but hey, spring is around, so you better be happy. Otherwise, the general picture is broken.

In the end, everything is mixing and you are just transforming into overwhelmingly mind blooming piggy drifting on the stunning meadow with tissues sucking the life out of you. Smile you rainbow throwing zombie, smile!

Small talks

This is daily mush up of mine. Dealing with people and then overthinking it. That’s how I cope. Much fun.

Sometimes we are all small talking, especially with somebody we barely know or don’t know at all. It can happen anywhere, most likely in our workplaces. We are doing it because we want to be nice, funny or sometimes just to fill the silence. Is it always so necessary?

I came to realize that nothing good comes out of the small talks. I see how people are struggling to be awesome and in the end, they are just pretending to be somebody else. Someone ultra funny with the best stories or someone faking to care at all. Why is it hard sometimes and why silence scare people so much? Since when you are suddenly weird by not commenting random and mostly unrelevant stuff? As usual, I’m asking questions I can’t possibly answer.

For me it’s simple: when I don’t want to talk I don’t talk but when I do, you can be more than assured that you have my full attention and care. I’m more than fine with silence – observing others is funnier. This weird pursuit of everyone’s sympathy by being “vocally active” makes me feel quite confused. I don’t understand it. You can’t make people like you or see you more. Besides that, isn’t it way more interesting to talk about something that really matters?

I don’t have enough of energy (or rather patience) to enjoy small talking and I’ll be damned if I’m the only one thinking this way.

Non-roomies

I think we all have at least one funny story to tell about our former or actual roommate. As I remember correctly I got to move 7 times meeting approximately 15 new people. I lived in the dormitory twice but that’s a whole other experience. Anyway, here are some facts I had the joy to witness.

  1. Appreciation is tabu.

No matter how long or hard I’ve tried to clean our common spaces like kitchen or bathroom – magic happened! Half an hour and the place was dirty again. Usually, when I confronted them, all I’ve been hearing was some lousy excuses or even accusations. The truth is when somebody is ok with the dirtiness and tons of dust, there is nothing you can possibly do to change it. Bad luck. At some point, I simply gave up and I was cleaning only after myself.

  1. Untidiness gets a new meaning.

Towels on shoes? Big piles of unfresh clothes at every possible angle? Bunch of trash on the floor? Another bunch of dirty dishes with unfinished, old and stinky food? Garbage bag full of old stuff that nobody “was able” to take out? The sink full of used dishes that are yours and nobody cleaned them after using? Kitchen dirty to this point that you don’t have space or tools to cook? Boi oh boi just imagine the general smell.

  1. Redefining bravery is on the daily basic.

I had a bunch of difficult and humiliating conversations about the fact that somebody was leaving brown marks in the toilet or piss was all over the place. Seriously? Mama didn’t teach you how to properly handle your business? Or how to clean the sink after you put 30 kg of make-up on you and now it’s everywhere? Or those hairs that you leaving in the bathtub? It’s disgusting. It’s also not easy to talk about it. Again, if people don’t know very basic stuff like this, there is absolutely nothing you can do. I’ve learned it the hard way.

  1. Other lives coexist with you.

I remember until this day the size of spider that came out of the closet. Holy cow. It was as big as my fist. When I was living in Italy I came upon a dead scorpion. Oh yes! Because of the moist, a lot of stuff was also covered with mold within a night. Enjoying living on 12 floor? Just acknowledge the cockroaches and other tiny things that like to travel on the pipes. My roommate denied their existence and they spread even more. Believe me, there is nothing more horrible than a battle with cockroaches.

  1. Noise tolerance has a new scale.

Eh, that’s a tricky one. There is nothing wrong with listening to music as long as you’re not doing it at 5 am. Same goes for inviting people over in the middle of the night. Really? Also, you don’t have to do the dishes at 6 am when everyone is still asleep. Showing off should be dedicated to other things.

The rule is easy: clean after yourself and don’t bother others while doing it.

Fake times

I came to realize that a lot of people are kind of fake. Not only in my or my closest ones surrounding but also on TV and how it’s brainwashing a lot of us. So what and why it’s happening?

– People are desperate to be cool or seen as easy going. No? Miss one party or don’t agree with something and you will experience what it means to be an outsider. Bah, be sarcastic and nobody will understand you (story of my life).

– People are pursuing to be ultra fit. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself as long as you don’t brag around about every step you take. Nobody cares what you ate or what kind of exercise did you do. Just enjoy the damn food. “I’m fit” “I’m vegan” Yeah right. In most cases, they have no clue what to eat not to mention they have absolutely nothing to do with sport. Few weeks without meat and one fitness course doesn’t make you an expert. Commit and then we will talk.

– People tend to overdo. Too much make up and too much of everything. Again, there is nothing wrong with looking nice and attractive as long as 60% of your face is in fact…your face. Not fake eyelashes, not corrected eyebrows, not 1cm of coverage. The tendency to look like that every day, eh please. You will look different, but it doesn’t mean more beautiful.

– People’s appearances on social media are far away from the truth. Mostly they are pretending to be somebody else. You travel? Do you have a baby? You just got married? You just went out with your colleagues? Few joyful events don’t make you happy. It’s like ego feeding – desperate for another approval, like “look I’m better than you”. No, you’re not.

– People don’t commit or care anymore. Look at the divorce rates. Somehow the meaning of love and marriage had changed. Friendships mean nothing. As long as you suitable you are ok. How many times do you feel annoyed because you went out with your pals and everyone seemed to be more interested in their phones then how you are doing? How many times did you do that yourself?

I could probably go on and on with this. A lot of things are constantly surprising me and I don’t understand anything. What’s more important: I refuse to follow it. Do you?