Professional-ish

I live in a funny fairy-tale where people care about what they’re doing so the job is done just about right. Decent foundations and clear work morals are something we shouldn’t discuss – it’s already there. Wait… what?

Dear Ms.Nurse, share your knowledge with grace when I’m asking about who is the last person in the line. I’m there to get help not to make your day harder.

HR Department. Three different teams and nobody has read my resume. It must be hard reckoning to improvise questions for a job vacancy. How Rude.

Hey, Mr.Shipping! How about being a bit nicer? Yes, the driver is late and no, he will not make it on time. There is a giant traffic jam and there is nothing you can do about that.

Lady Secretary from the firm X. When I’m calling you with a very specific question it means I couldn’t find an answer anywhere else. Oh, boi. It must have hurt to use a brain.

Financial dude. Please don’t make the fool out of me. We don’t have to know everything. You’re here to advise me not to mock me.

Puh-lease.

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Surprise

It isn’t easy to surprise me. Recently a few stuff has happened that blew my mind. Yes, I was surprised. It’s actually quite confusing. These are some of them:

1. Whistling as a method to calm somebody down.

No joke here. It happened during some silly fight. Suddenly things got out of control. A perfect way to solve it? Whistling! Yes, we are dogs. We know exactly what to do when you’ll whistle. No harmony. Whistle your issues away, that’s cool.

2. Kissing mommy on the mouth.

Grown-ass men kissing his mother on the mouth. Oh, boi. I could understand that sometimes a relationship between a son and the mother is close and special, but let’s be real – it’s disgusting. You’re kissing your mom and a few hours later your wife or your girlfriend? Poor woman.

3. Having a direct tattoo on the throat.

You have every right to express yourself the way you want, I respect that. Please, consider your tattoo not to be angry grizzly on your throat. Especially when your face is cute! Sorry, I would never take it seriously. That grizzly would have sucked my attention every time.

4. Being asked a weird question on the street.

Typical Tuesday. I’m coming back home from work and some teenage girl is asking me if I would want an ice cream. I should mention: it’s obviously cold. The girl wasn’t bothered by it, wearing a top that revealed her tummy. Nope, I didn’t take it.

5. Drinking beer at work.

Sorry but wtf?! Ok, you’re the boss, I get it. You’re also an example, moron. If you’re drinking the beer, can I as well? Can everybody? I don’t see any logic here. Unless it’s just the show-off, like “I can do whatever I want, but you must follow the rules”. It’s highly disrespectful not to mention unprofessional.

Mäh.

Mindfully irritating

There are few behaviors that I will never understand. Ever. It doesn’t surprise me anymore but it makes me feel quite overwhelmed that those are largely common and nobody bats an eye.

I’m lending the book from the public library. It’s a guide to improve your language so as you can imagine, it’s full of exercises. What do people do? They’re writing in the book with their pen as they own it.

I’m driving through the city. Trash everywhere. Trash next to the road and trash on the lawn or in every possible angle. What do people do? They’re littering because they don’t care and don’t respect our environment.

I’m in the Bahn, standing. Rush hours. Pregnant lady, with a visible belly, comes to my area. What do people do? They look the other way. Especially women.

I’m in the supermarket, going through stuff. I see some things that don’t belong to this specific area. What do people do? They’re leaving products on the shelves randomly. No respect for Ordnung!

I’m entering a public toilet. I want to do to my business there but I’m choosing to abort the place instead. What do people do? They’re not flushing, leaving the used paper on the floor, peeing on the floor and in the end, everything looks and smells like some kind of battlefield.

What a mockery.

Social media crap

We all have it and we all use it (or most of us at least). The right issue is how! How are we using it? Well, we are communicating through it and maybe picture uploading from time to time but in many cases that’s just not bloody enough. What am I talking about? Oh, pure madness.

There is usually at least one friend who is uploading pictures almost every day. Common, let us miss you a bit! We don’t have to know at what stage is your cleaning looking by your selfie reflection in your bathroom or bedroom.

Bunch of them are uploading anything for show-offs like the vacation, the quick trip to the next town, Friday night adventures and much similar irrelevant info. No, you are not cooler or funnier than others. You’re just lucky and tomorrow it can all change.

Have I mentioned babies? Sure, mostly they’re cute and blah but do I have to know what they’re wearing and how they’re pooping? Nah. I don’t know when babies became a tool to show off but it’s quite…childish.

Wedding dramas. This is like never ending story – lasts for weeks. Blah blah I’m happy for you, now change your last name everywhere and shut up. You’re not different than any other lady. It was just one night and you’ve lost a lot of money. Congratulations.

They say: “nobody is forcing you to use it”. Please, have a look around. Almost everything is plugged to some social platform. Almost every company, every business is on social media. How am I suppose to work with it, without getting annoyed? They say: “just click unfollow”. Done that. It doesn’t stop new persons to evolve and become this annoying social monster though.

How about NO.

Cinema paradise

As usual, I don’t understand what is driving people to behave unhuman in cinemas. It’s all about how they were raised. Everything goes around it. Eh. What kind of behaviors am I talking? Oh please, we all know them too well.

The way how somebody sits on the chair. Boi. I get that you want to be comfortable but do I have to smell your shoes which you put right next to my head?

The way how somebody is making noise by eating stuff that shouldn’t even be there in the first place or by simply bloody talking. Do I have to hear what you have to say during the movie?

The way how somebody is checking the phone during the seance. Especially in front of you. Do I have to see your phone when Iron Man is fighting with the evil?

The way how somebody leaves all of the trash on the seat. Trash bins are always next to the door when you’re leaving. Why is it so hard to just take it with you? Mama didn’t teach you, right.

Just behave.

The offices

I’ve been dealing a lot with government facilities lately. I worked for them too. It was and always is such a pleasure. So many people, so many characters, so many interpretation and…not so much space to fit it all.

The young lady in finances department. She didn’t know what to do with my issue. Neither did 6 posters of hamsters on the wall behind her. No joke. 6 hamsters! How powerful.

A phone is ringing a bit too long at the reception. Lady is pretending to do something super important on the computer in order to not pick it up. Who cares, right? I leaned on to check: she was sorting her personal pictures from vacation. Wow. Priorities.

Mid-age dude as for volunteering manager. On bare feet when it’s snowing outside, really? Don’t they pay people enough to afford some shoes? He was a bit messy too but who am I to judge. Such an alfa.

An old lady in managing department. No place to sit. Literally, everything was on everything. You are representing your country with this! Is it such a problem to organize the closet? It is! Why? Less space for the food and other irrelevant crap.

Another managing department. Everyone stars to work at 7 am. Officially. There is 7.46 and they are still drinking coffee, complaining, wasting time and being cool with it. It wasn’t that cool when another task came down and a huge drama following it because of course there is absolutely no time to do it.

Health insurance. Service done smoothly like: “who told you to come to me?”, “why are you here? you need to go somewhere else”, “don’t know who lost your paper”, “there is nothing in the system, I can’t help you”. Aha.

You are always so welcome and they are always doing everything fast and right. Every time.

 

Small talks

This is daily mush up of mine. Dealing with people and then overthinking it. That’s how I cope. Much fun.

Sometimes we are all small talking, especially with somebody we barely know or don’t know at all. It can happen anywhere, most likely in our workplaces. We are doing it because we want to be nice, funny or sometimes just to fill the silence. Is it always so necessary?

I came to realize that nothing good comes out of the small talks. I see how people are struggling to be awesome and in the end, they are just pretending to be somebody else. Someone ultra funny with the best stories or someone faking to care at all. Why is it hard sometimes and why silence scare people so much? Since when you are suddenly weird by not commenting random and mostly unrelevant stuff? As usual, I’m asking questions I can’t possibly answer.

For me it’s simple: when I don’t want to talk I don’t talk but when I do, you can be more than assured that you have my full attention and care. I’m more than fine with silence – observing others is funnier. This weird pursuit of everyone’s sympathy by being “vocally active” makes me feel quite confused. I don’t understand it. You can’t make people like you or see you more. Besides that, isn’t it way more interesting to talk about something that really matters?

I don’t have enough of energy (or rather patience) to enjoy small talking and I’ll be damned if I’m the only one thinking this way.