Professional-ish

I live in a funny fairy-tale where people care about what they’re doing so the job is done just about right. Decent foundations and clear work morals are something we shouldn’t discuss – it’s already there. Wait… what?

Dear Ms.Nurse, share your knowledge with grace when I’m asking about who is the last person in the line. I’m there to get help not to make your day harder.

HR Department. Three different teams and nobody has read my resume. It must be hard reckoning to improvise questions for a job vacancy. How Rude.

Hey, Mr.Shipping! How about being a bit nicer? Yes, the driver is late and no, he will not make it on time. There is a giant traffic jam and there is nothing you can do about that.

Lady Secretary from the firm X. When I’m calling you with a very specific question it means I couldn’t find an answer anywhere else. Oh, boi. It must have hurt to use a brain.

Financial dude. Please don’t make the fool out of me. We don’t have to know everything. You’re here to advise me not to mock me.

Puh-lease.

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Surprise

It isn’t easy to surprise me. Recently a few stuff has happened that blew my mind. Yes, I was surprised. It’s actually quite confusing. These are some of them:

1. Whistling as a method to calm somebody down.

No joke here. It happened during some silly fight. Suddenly things got out of control. A perfect way to solve it? Whistling! Yes, we are dogs. We know exactly what to do when you’ll whistle. No harmony. Whistle your issues away, that’s cool.

2. Kissing mommy on the mouth.

Grown-ass men kissing his mother on the mouth. Oh, boi. I could understand that sometimes a relationship between a son and the mother is close and special, but let’s be real – it’s disgusting. You’re kissing your mom and a few hours later your wife or your girlfriend? Poor woman.

3. Having a direct tattoo on the throat.

You have every right to express yourself the way you want, I respect that. Please, consider your tattoo not to be angry grizzly on your throat. Especially when your face is cute! Sorry, I would never take it seriously. That grizzly would have sucked my attention every time.

4. Being asked a weird question on the street.

Typical Tuesday. I’m coming back home from work and some teenage girl is asking me if I would want an ice cream. I should mention: it’s obviously cold. The girl wasn’t bothered by it, wearing a top that revealed her tummy. Nope, I didn’t take it.

5. Drinking beer at work.

Sorry but wtf?! Ok, you’re the boss, I get it. You’re also an example, moron. If you’re drinking the beer, can I as well? Can everybody? I don’t see any logic here. Unless it’s just the show-off, like “I can do whatever I want, but you must follow the rules”. It’s highly disrespectful not to mention unprofessional.

Mäh.

Mindfully irritating

There are few behaviors that I will never understand. Ever. It doesn’t surprise me anymore but it makes me feel quite overwhelmed that those are largely common and nobody bats an eye.

I’m lending the book from the public library. It’s a guide to improve your language so as you can imagine, it’s full of exercises. What do people do? They’re writing in the book with their pen as they own it.

I’m driving through the city. Trash everywhere. Trash next to the road and trash on the lawn or in every possible angle. What do people do? They’re littering because they don’t care and don’t respect our environment.

I’m in the Bahn, standing. Rush hours. Pregnant lady, with a visible belly, comes to my area. What do people do? They look the other way. Especially women.

I’m in the supermarket, going through stuff. I see some things that don’t belong to this specific area. What do people do? They’re leaving products on the shelves randomly. No respect for Ordnung!

I’m entering a public toilet. I want to do to my business there but I’m choosing to abort the place instead. What do people do? They’re not flushing, leaving the used paper on the floor, peeing on the floor and in the end, everything looks and smells like some kind of battlefield.

What a mockery.